Iāve been struggling recently with motivation. Itās been a bit harder recently to get out of bed and start doing things in the morning. I would be lying if I said this wasnāt due to some Nihilism caused by the pace of AI progress recently. I think the other reason is that Iāve lost a specific north star as a person.
One thing to analyze is the reality of motivation. Does it even exist? Or is it an artifact of momentum? Perhaps the thing I am actually missing is discipline.
I do once again wonder what my purpose is. Iām graduating soon so it is definitely time to find out. I have so many conflicting dreams and itās difficult to fit the puzzle pieces together here. The problem is that I have ambition. This is a true curse. I wish I could wake up every day, already settled into a rhythm, and just push forward on the main goal. It kills a little bit of me every time someone asks what Iām up to and I say āexploringā. It would be much easier if I had a company that I was trying to build to bring the revenue numbers up.
I know Iām doing the correct thing by āexploringā for such a long time. It would be so much worse if I hastily started some multiyear project and succeeded at the end just to realize I didnāt pick the correct goal. To quote J Cole, I do not want to come a long way just to realize i was walking the wrong way.
Some things that I know I love for sure:
- Making something that reminds people of magic. A spark of awe or wonder in a user is unmatchable. Regular consumers are the ones that have that.
- I want to work with fun and hard working people. I think a strong stabilizer of motivation is a group of motivated individuals. If one fish is drowning the other fishes can help carry.